If you happen to have a beard, chances are you like to sit back and enjoy a fine brew when you’re not out in the world being a damn hero. But which beer will maximize your beard’s glory? Here are some choice beers to compliment your manly face-crown depending on what breed of champion you are.
If your beard has a golden sheen like the mane of a lion, celebrate your rule over the pride lands with Belgium’s Leffe Blonde Ale. It has a light glow and a caramel taste – yet – is surprisingly high in alcohol content. That could also be a description for your manly bod, brother.
Does your beard radiate with the red-hot anger of your Gaelic forefathers? You should be drinking Killian’s Irish Red. Its got a sweet malt taste and pours dark red into a glass. “Ahh, liquid rage!” you say to no one in particular before starting a bar brawl.
Although it’s known as a world-famous Irish brew, Guinness is a thick milky stout meant for men whose luscious locks make them look like the Portuguese explorers you read about in textbooks.
If you’re rocking that classic Americana rustic style beard, you should be drinking a Yuengling Traditional Lager right now. Nothing flashy, but buddy, it’s a grown-ass beer for a grown-ass man.
The New Belgium Fat Tire is an amber ale that perfectly fits the face of a man whose beard comes in a strawberry blonde tone. If you flaunt that beautiful coloring with a trim and classy cut, you need a crisp beer like this.
The variety Dogfish Head Indian Pale Ales aren’t meant for beardless babes. These dry, piney beers are for men with a little more experience on their bristles.
Do you occasionally like to garnish your beard with flower petals and pretty leaves to attract mates like certain birds of the forest? Try the Elysian Wasteland Elderflower Saison for a taste of nature!
The Unibroue Maudite is a powerful beer for a powerful man. It’s a little strong but has a clean finish… just like the man who rocks a beard with a lot of heft in the front and a tidy neck.
Busch Light is for the man who wants a beard but can’t really grow it. Just like Brad Pitt. Zing.
So whether you have a beard and want to know what beer would look good pressed against your fuzzy lips, or if you have a beer and you have A LOT time… give this a post share on Facebook!